A Worthwhile Trade?

A Worthwhile Trade?

I've been forced into hermitage once again on account of my bank. Account. Bad pun, sorry.
See, I decided to treat myself to an iPod this paycheck, and once again I'm in the same financial position as I've been essentially since being here, and before that since I can remember.

Now, somehow I thought I would have enough money left over to, you know, eat, if I bought it, but it appears as if that was not the case. I have 20 days until payday, and 13,000 yen to my name. 650 a day for those who like math. That's do-able, actually quite so, but, all the same for all my rants about how nice it will be to have money, I sure don't have any again.

Now, the lesson here is to not go out and buy something the moment I have money, but, look at the tradeoff. I have an iPod now. I can listen to my music whenever I want, I can tune out the world, I can carry the entirety of all information on my laptop on my iPod were I to so desire, but the fact is I still have that nagging question running through the back of my head: "Did I really need this?"

See, it's not like there was a gap that needed filling, I merely added another layer to what was already ok. I've got something to occupy me now when I travel, I have access to select photos whenever occasion calls for them, I even have the best of the best iPods and the show-off value that carries, and that's fantastic, but, it's not like I was at a loss before.
I've fallen victim to the tragedy which has befallen most of society these days: I tried to fill a gap with a luxury. Circle holes and square pegs.

The hole of course, is that I have no money, and using pegs I have to buy certainly isn't gonna get me anywhere. But in the meantime, I have things I've always wanted, and the quality of my humble poor life is slowly but surely improving. With the exception of my diet, but that's ok cause when I was sick around payday I bought a large bottle of multivitamins which compensates for the utter lack of variety in my daily intake.

Anyway, the point here is to raise this question: is there ever a point where I/one could have all the little things I/one ever wanted such that I/they could actually start saving money or more likely enjoy the costly company of others in this country, i.e. going to bars, restaurants, movies, etc? As far back as I've had paychecks there's always been something more I couldn't afford, and come payday, that's where my money's gone. There's always a little project, there's always something I rationalize to buy. When does that end? When do I have enough to say I'm fine for now? I certainly say that after I buy things, so when do I start saying it before?

I finished reading Graham Greene's The Quiet American yesterday night; I was pleased with it by the time I was done. At first, I dunno, it was a slow first 50 pages, but, coming to the end, I had really sunk my teeth into it and found I quite enjoyed it. I look forward to seeing Vietnam for myself someday, just hopefully not in the same way as Mr. Fowler or Mr. Pyle.

I started reading Love in the Time of Cholera today, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and 20 pages into it, it seems an interesting book. I've become all too familiar with the wording of good prose, thanks to a high school IB program which required not only the taking in but the appreciation of such literature. So, when I read a book now, I can tell almost within 2 pages if it's the kind of thing which belonged in my cirriculum, and as such, whether I'll be able to finish it in two days or two weeks. Perhaps, in some cases, not at all.

Both books have the effect of taking you back in time, and familiarizing the reader with a world that no longer exists, but moreover, taking place in other foreign countries, they make me feel a little less away from home. My life here, though lacking in the counterpoint of fictional masterpieces, is a story all its own, and perhaps some day looking back on this journal I will be taken to a similar world of the past, fictional in its own way for no longer being the world in which I live.

That aside, in 4 hours I will no longer be poor, constrained no longer to the confines of this apartment, waiting for the shackles of poverty to be lifted from my aching and bruised wrists and ankles. The interesting part though, is that, much like those freed from one form of servitute or another, I am faced with a psychological dilema. Do I continue, despite my freedom, to live as I have for the last three months, or do I, drunk with the exhilirating scent of money, live in wonton neglect for financial frugality, so as to in some way laugh in the face of my former encumberance?

Regardless of my choice, I really need to stop thinking in prose.